I knew this one would hit me hard, that’s why I, at least partly, have been trying to deny it. I mean, I’m like really ambivalent in this matter, both from an egoist point of view and from the view of a caring amigo. I don’t know what to think and what (is OK) to say and that’s why I try to keep my public expression very collected, ‘cuz you know, I’m a great pretender… though I’m about to break apart from within I’d never leave out a smile to the people in my surroundings, because that’s just who I am, I may seem like a person who always let her emotions show, I mean I can be angry and sad in public without doubt, but that’s often just my shallow feelings, I’d never fall apart in front of others due to my serious issues, things which I think about 24/7 but never tell anyone about… because I kind of believe (or actually know) that if I tell people about the shit, it wouldn’t make a difference, because sadly, the majority of the people who I keep close to my heart fail to understand me in the most simple matters, so why’d they understand this? They can’t even relate to it. Besides, a too large group of individuals, from my experience, also have a strange way of dealing with people who admit that they’ve got issues more severe than ”I don’t know what to do next semester”. So… I keep the most of it inside of me, embarrased to let it out, lost because it hurts having it there in my heart without anyone knowing, lost because letting it out does nothing good…
there’s a lot of shit I keep bottled that hurts deep inside o’ my soul,
Nu har jag problem på alla fronter, ingen gren är starkare än den andra… hela jävla skiten faller ihop jävligt snart.
